I'm doing edits on a book I wrote before I was 38. My heroine is 32 in the old draft, my hero is 38. The hero's parents moved to the U.S. from England, where they were descended from the "servant class." The hero went into the Air Force here, then college and is now an airline pilot. The heroine's family is fabulously wealthy and her family founded the airline that he works for.
   I'm editing the holiday gathering where the hero first realizes who his new girlfriend really is, and I'm showing him as profoundly uncomfortable with his surroundings, which he likens to the places where his ancestors were in service. On one hand, he's an airline pilot, often a profoundly self-confident bunch (which isn't a bad thing considering the lives they have in their hands). On the other hand, he grew up poor and working class.
   I'm thinking that maybe his "class" insecurities would make more sense if he was younger. He can't be too young, since he's an airline pilot. I'm thinking I'll make him 30 though. Is it true as we're older that we start to fit into our place in life (in his case, high-dollar pilot) or do we always feel like a fake if we are dealing with people more self-assured than we are? Do we grow into our sense of self or does it change based on circumstance?
   I was working on the edits this morning, then talked to a friend for a while. I was telling her about my new part-time job and how I seem to take on the persona of the job I've got. Less than 2 years ago I was a CEO, making decisions for many employees. Now I'm deferring to my supervisor regarding decisions far less important than those I used to make, like whether to give a possibly lying child something worth a dollar. Part of my problem is that I'm not clear when I'm allowed to make decisions and when I'm not in this new job, but part of it is just the insecurity of place. I'm not a CEO anymore so why should I act so empowered, age 38 or not?

   Would a man with a powerful job feel insecure around rich people who have the power to fire him? Or would his daily self-confidence make him feel their equal? Would he feel more self-assured at 38 than at 30, when at either age he is new to his company?
   A writer always wants her characters to seem "real" at some level, at least. I'm struggling with my guy. If I was him though, I'd be uncomfortable!