My uncle Michael died yesterday. He wasn't the easiest person for me to love, since I grew up 1600 miles away from him, and his physical/mental health problems made him hard to chat with via phone. Perhaps the only thing we had in common was our love of Beatles music. When I heard the message from my father yesterday, I was very glad to hear Mike's suffering was over, after 8 days of being comatose following strokes. This is the second death in my family this year at least partially due to diabetes, unfortunately.
   I didn't really feel like I knew my uncle, but my father sent me a eulogy of sorts about him, that he titled "lament". It told me more about Mike's childhood than I had known before, and reminded me that my father and his mother knew a very different Mike than the one I'd had limited contact with all these years. 
   To be honest, I was expecting him to die today. My grandmother had fully dedicated herself to caring for Mike since my grandfather died 28 years ago today, and I thought Mike would pass easily from the care of one parent to the other. I was painfully close in my estimate, and I'm glad to know Mike is past all his pain now. But I don't know what my grandmother is going to do with herself after so many years of caring for him and she's in my prayers now more than even Mike or Grandpa.
   I suppose this is a writing blog, so I need to tie this back into fiction. Reading my father's stories about Mike reminded me that everyone has deep history behind them, and what you see may be very different than what has passed. I'm also going to be reminded of my grandmother's courage even if I haven't always agreed with her choices. People can be very admirable even if you don't like their decisions.
   Every family is full of stories, and many of them are stranger and more wonderful too than any fiction we can write. Too many stories die with their participants. This holiday season, I encourage you to learn something new about your friends and family. We never know when it will be too late to spend time with them.

 

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